#DefuseBullying - Part 2: Name-Calling
Updated: May 3
That's me. 🙋🏻♀️
He used this nickname because:
☀️ 1: It’s a bit of English banter (a kind of joke), and,
☀️ 2: Because of my disposition to laugh, smile and approach life with a positive spirit.
For all these reasons, he also sometimes used to call me #TheGoldenGirl.
He was always encouraging me to just be myself.
To shine. ☀️
💣 At some point in my career, I learned that one of my colleagues had begun to go around describing me as ‘The Golden Girl’, too.
But they were saying it sarcastically. 😏
In a toxic way. 📛
With a roll of the eyes. 🙄
And they never, ever said it to my face. Always behind my back.
Do you see how insidious this is?
It is what I call subtle #bullying.
In the first instance with Uncle Len, calling me 'The Golden Girl' is filled with love.
It is light.
It is joyful.
It is a compliment.
But in the second, it is charged with toxicity.💥
It is mean.
And it is disgusting.
If you have, here are some things I know Uncle Len would remind us all of to help navigate this ugly behaviour:
1️⃣ Remember that #hurtpeoplehurtpeople.
They often have a shadowy part of themselves they haven’t resolved, and this part of you triggers them or may even be something they are jealous about.
Name-calling is a personal attack, so one of the most powerful things you can do to counter it is be truer and truer to yourself. You cannot change parts of yourself like personality and temperament that easily. So all you can do is to just let words roll off your back, and focus on your goals. God gave you feathers for a reason, duck.
3️⃣ #Analyse the word they are using to try and hurt you.
You will usually find hiding inside it your signature strengths. For example, if someone tries to insult you by calling you child-like, just think of what a beautiful trait it is to still have a heart that is soft and trusting in such a harsh world. If they call you too old-fashioned, too VIP, too talkative, too sensitive, too antivax, too introverted.. always remember that the very things they are trying to shame as a weakness, often belie your greatest strength.
P.S.I have added three more bullying traits to the ‘How not to be a professional bully’ document. They are:
Check it out to read what these traits involve: