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  • Writer's pictureSumbella

How to reconnect with yourself (even if you've no idea how) [Style Series #1.3]

Updated: Sep 6, 2021

In this series of articles we are thoughtfully exploring ideas to help curate your own signature style.

There are five parts in this series, and I've written mini, 2-3 minute articles within each one for you to explore bit by bit.

This article belongs to reconnecting.

  • 1 Reconnecting

  • 2 Defining

  • 3 Auditing

  • 4 Rebuilding

  • 5 Sustaining

Enjoy this series~

Style Series #1.3

The Quote

“Be yourself - everyone else is already taken.”

Oscar Wilde

The Analogy

In the time of philosophers like Aristotle, they were said to have thought carefully over what makes up the world and what it really is constructed of. After many iterations and discussions on the subject, eventually, four key elements that make up the world were identified:

Fire, water, earth, & air.

Philosophers came to the conclusion that these four elements were crucial to sustaining life itself. And they acknowledged that these elements contributed to a healthy, wholesome existence for living beings.

A famous Rumi quote tells us: "Stop acting so small: you are the universe in ecstatic motion".

In many ways, each person is a whole world: with a unique set of values and elements that contribute to a healthy, wholesome version of themselves. This is why it matters so much to do the inner work on understanding what makes you come alive.

The Premise

The age old question of finding out what matters to you, who you are and why you are here is something philosophers constantly grappled with. Nowadays, there are countless personality tests, strengths finding quizzes, and astrological charts that are meant to show you who you are, and even what your potential is in this life.

In this quest to understand oneself, I don't believe a personality test or quiz can tell you the answers. They can only serve as tools to give you clues and indications about yourself. Ultimately, only you can truly determine, define and decide what precisely matters to you. Only you can know and choose your elements - the ones that truly make you glow.

Your values may have seemingly nothing to do with clothing, fashion, or style - but if you answered 'yes' to any of the questions from the last article, you might find that aesthetics, beauty, or style is something you care about - more than you may be acknowledging. Or perhaps it has grown to be something you want to nurture in your life.

In a series like this, it's a good time to consider such profound questions. Having a clear sense of self will help you invest in a timeless wardrobe that always has your back, representing who you are and what you stand for.

The elements that make you up are like a compass, a navigation instrument that help show you where to turn and what actions to take - and even how to dress.

And before starting to say goodbye to existing clothes, welcome new ones in, or make big changes in your personal style, it is important to have done some work on considering what matters to you as a whole.

Having a firm handle on the unique elements that make you you is advantageous. But how do you figure that out, without spending your whole life doing it?

The Activity

There is a whole process I made to help people sift through and uncover their unique core elements. But given that this is a 2-3 minute read, I've included the basics to help make this actionable in a short space of time.

To begin, you could start by considering your true, immediate answers to the following questions:

  • How do you spend your time?

  • How do you spend your money?

  • How do you spend your energy?

  • And, importantly, how do you want to spend more of your time, energy, and money?

Taking time to ponder on your answers to these things may help give you clues about what matters to you.

Once you have some answers, going one step further and distilling your responses into a handful of single words can further help illuminate key parts of yourself that matter to you.

Some examples of people's core elements include:

  • Creativity, beauty, legacy, & wellness

  • Compassion, connection, aesthetics & order

  • Adventure, humour, challenge, & love

If you have ever done values work, you know this is a huge topic: and you may already be clear on what your core values are. In this case, can you connect elements of personal style and your interest in this to one of your core words? In his book 'The Values Factor', Dr Demartini shows that making links between actions you want to take and your core values is a powerful way to make progress.

The Why

It wasn't until I realised that aesthetics and productivity factor so high on my list of elements, or values, that I could start even talking about all these topics in a series like this. It was only when I recognised that I enjoyed these things that I could really start to invest and curate my wardrobe happily.

If you haven't ever done values work, you may sense that this is a rather big topic to cover in a 2 minute read. It takes time to reconnect with the roots of you. Come back to this activity if you need. Ask me questions if you have any. Ping ideas back and forth with someone trusted who can delve into this with you.

But by all means, consider this as valuable and worthwhile time spent reflecting on what truly matters to you.

The Summary

Having a sense of your core values gives you clarity over your actions, and helps guide them. It also helps drive how and why you spend money, which is strongly connected to clothing.

Eventually, having clarity over your core values can even help filter out what kind of clothes, stores and artisans you will want to invest in and dress yourself with.

All in all, identifying and embracing what matters most to you helps you recognise yourself, find your inner glow, and provides the foundations for curating your signature style.

Enjoy this journey to finding the elements that resonate most with you.

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